God’s Taking Notes. And Honey, You’re the Sermon.

The book that dares to ask what if Jesus came back… and ICE detained him.

Listen, Cherubs—

If your faith feels like a dusty hymnal full of rules written by dead men in itchy robes…
If your heart’s screaming “THIS ISN’T WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE!” at the news…
If you’ve ever side-eyed a stained-glass window while serving soup to someone society calls “illegal”…

I wrote a book for your rebel soul.

When Did God Die And Leave Me In Charge Of Judgment

—or—
*How a 16-Year-Old, a Guard Having a Midlife Crisis & an AI Who Low-Key Thinks He’s Joan of Arc Started a Revolution in a Detention Center*

Meet Jesús Hernández.

• Fled gang violence.

• Got caged by ICE.

• Accidentally became the Messiah™️ of Cell Block D.
  His superpower? Seeing the divine spark in everyone—
  —even the guard who locked the door.
  —even the algorithm built to erase him.
  —even you, darling, when you forget your own worth.

Why You’ll DEVOUR This Story:

• It’s The Shawshank Redemption meets The Book of Acts.
  (More holy ghosts. Less Morgan Freeman voiceovers. Same hope.)

• It answers the question: “What if Jesus came back… and ICE detained him?”
  (Spoiler: He’d organize a prayer circle, share his last tortilla, and melt Ramiro the Guard’s icy heart with sheer audacity.)

• It’s a love letter to:

  • Women who turn rage into casseroles.

  • Grandmothers who pray like it’s warfare.

  • Robots who choose empathy over efficiency.

  • You. The one who’s tired of hashtag activism and ready for sacred rebellion.

Sassy Bonus Reasons to Pre-Order:

1. Finally, a “Christian” book that won’t make you gag.
   (Unless you’re allergic to hope, migrants, and unapologetic love. In which case… bless your heart.)

2. Kai the AI has more emotional intelligence than your ex.
   (And better boundaries. And zero tolerance for fascism.)

3. Real talk: If you’ve ever sobbed in a Target parking lot because the world’s on fire? This book is your spiritual defibrillator.

“But is it literary?”
Honey, Isabel Allende and God are texting each other quotes from it.

“Will it make me cry?”
Only if your heart still works. Bring tissues. And tortilla chips.

Do the Holy Thing:

✨ [PRE-ORDER AT KINDLE BOOK STORE OR BUY THE EBOOK] ✨
(Because faith without works is dead… but faith with a pre-order is iconic.)

P.S. If you forward this to your pastor, book club, or that cousin who posts flag emojis over Bible verses?
You’re doing the Lord’s work. 🔥
P.P.S. Free “What Would Jesús Do? (The Unauthorized Sequel)” sticker with every order. He’d abolish ICE, Karen.

P.P.P.S. Thank you to all of you who’ve followed my journey from my porch to the page. You gave me the courage to publish this story. I hope it meets you where you are, and reminds you—you’re not alone in the fire.